Turn

I grasp my empty stomach
Clutch my constricted heart
Fight my mind
No no no
No pain right now
It's not time

Turn, turn, turn
No friends
No family
No outlets
Will take this from me

No one to turn to
Nowhere to run
No end of life
No end of time

Good days
Mask the tiny specks
Floating in my mind
Through me
She floats with me
Smiling
She's in me and of me
But not here

The good days
Looking away from the long-haired girls
Mothers and daughters
New babies
Flip flops
Summer dresses
Beaches
Who will show me how to dress?

The good days store the pain
The grief and sickness
Must return
The desperation
To end the pain
Returns


Nowhere to turn
No one to tell
No place to go
Nothing can save me
No one can help me

The answers lie inside
The suffering shows in my eyes
On my face
Defeat, desperation
Insecurity and anxiety
People say they see it
I didn't know
I don't want them to see it

Time will never bring my salvation
Twin souls not to be separated
Acceptance
She's dead
Faith
God heals
Hope
I have purpose
Energy
I can't feel you

Nowhere to turn
No one to talk to
No place to go
Nothing can assure me
No one can help me
I suffer and beg to be taken away
Until we meet again
This is my fate

Lonely
Alone
Desperate
Angry
Turn only inside and find a void
That once carried hope, faith
I clutch this body
My breasts
I carried her
Fed her
Where do I turn
Except in circles