You can heal yourself. Just make it about the enjoyment of it. You should try everything that you want to try that feels good to you, that is fun and engaging, that sweeps you into movement and laughter. For in play, we find love for ourselves. That blissful ecstacy you feel when you’re happy is the vibration that will bring to you your loved one and the feeling that you already have everything you asked for. Lean into techniques unique to you in order to relieve your pain while grieving or sick or anxious. There’s no guilt in a mental health day where you rest, take a bath, eat a lot of food or drink herbals, whatever you want. Walk alone or go to a park and watch the water. There is no reason to explain it to anyone. You need nature, the bilateral stimulation, and the calmed mind to proceed with success in the present moment. You can start any healthy hobby or habit with the two rules: It must be enjoyable for you and it allows for you to practice actions of being kind to the self, inviting all of your parts that may act out to be heard, hugged, and invited to integrate within the self. Find IFS or Internal Family Systems therapy.
Find and try techniques in your tool box that remind you to be grateful that you survived and that you love yourself enough to understand that you create a future for yourself. So, as stated by Seth in Seth Speaks, the bigger your imagination the less restricted to a time lost reality and regret. Instead, you know that you create wellness by choosing again and again what you want through the phrase Abraham channeled that we can and do build worlds with our thoughts and emotions. And, there is not one way to heal the body, mind, spirit in order to calm the body and mind and settle into the lap of the Inner Self.
Please don’t close your mind or heart to creative ways to stay grounded in the present moment, even if you’re crying your way through that moment. So, it’s courageous to heal and once you make the choice to heal, the methods and techniques will wax and wane, grow and cement. You’ll see a myriad of supporters and sometimes sit alone, resting under a tree or on a river bank. Riding a bicycle through a woody trail, hiking, or forest bathing bring you to the bosom of mother earth.
For me, I took a long drive to think and to hike many hours from home. I learned self-love in the car and it was not through one of the magical, mystical nuances I searched for all my life. I found a secluded cabin to stay in and for 2 days with crayons and no internet. I enjoyed the silence enveloping me to figure out that it would never be possible to hate myself as much as I felt like I was hated by the people around me. There was no end to it. I would have either had to die or change completely. At the beginning of the drive, I didn’t know how anyone found self-love or why anyone would love me at all.
Cruising the smoothed country roads enveloped in a heap of the trees’ fall colors lining that remote roadway in Kentucky, I heard the audio book tell me to love yourself like you love your own kid or significant human or critter. Think of yourself, maybe around 2 or 4 or 6. We are now the parent of that inner child and can have compassion for him or her. And, we love ourselves with actions like fixing that mistake then celebrating a job well done. You celebrate someone you love or you try to teach them, but you don’t criticize them as a human. Treat yourself the same way. Support yourself and get that project done. Always celebrate yourself along the way. Choose to FEEL happy, tuned in, tapped in, and turned on and watch life flow your way.
The feeling of protection that you have for a human you love is the feeling you need to recognize in yourself when you sit alone. Are you okay by yourself? What do you like to do? Feed the artistic and creative kid in you. When you make a mistake, tell yourself how to fix it the next time it happens. You love yourself and you want the behavior to stop. You choose to laugh it off and try again or change direction because you support every version of yourself, even the one who risked that latest venture! Picture yourself talking to the part or age you were when you acted out, made a dumb mistake, or self-sabotaged. Ask him or her why she/he acted in this way; what’s wrong that they don’t feel heard or loved. Then, tell them you love and forgive this very important part of you, that age you need as part of your family experience inside. Rely on that part to contribute now when appropriate.
Note: This is not shadow work. Shadow work calls on negativity to lecture parts of yourself. Never do this. Only share and FEEL positive to the part of you who didn’t have a voice. You are the voice now.
I did not learn self-love in any Reiki session, hypnosis, even through psychics and mediums who connected me with my daughter, although it does help. I’ve experienced bliss in Christian churches, on a beach in meditation, on a hike or in yoga practice. But, I only learned to love myself when I thought of who I was as a child. It started then and my new growth is now, always the present moment to choose better for me. Only I have my answers and by going inside, my redemption lies.
Self-love is reaching out for support and a lot of learning to support others. You share what you learn and friends try each other’s ideas. There is so much blame of others, too. Can you stop judgments or expectations of other people? With whom are you angry? How do you find peace? You’re in pain and practicing all the ways to end your pain and you’re learning that those tools you’re using to cry, work, and plan your way through will be the support you provide to others when you stand in your own power of self-love. Then, you will be an example for anyone struggling with that issue. You will have provided a dimension for others to reach to and find support in the greater consciousness and from within.
I still feel confused before I set myself straight sometimes. Isn’t that everyone? So, if I’m really getting upset, I know now to put my phone in a drawer for an hour. I know to pat my chest and touch my tummy, make sure my stomach muscles are relaxed. I hum to myself or swallow, make sure to relax my throat. I walk, run, bike, kayak, or write. I color or play cards or music. I dance or laugh or sing. I ground myself into the earth, oil my body, drink tea, nourish myself, practice yoga or Reiki or meditation, rest, pray, or breathe. We love to use the techniques we learned. There will always be a need for this care to change the pathways of the brain, the physical is-ness of who we are.
The brain is a social organ. We must connect with other eyeballs, other humans to have positive future plans and experiences. We must settle the brain in nature and decrease our anxiety and stress using our breath and foods and peace. Keep building and one day, you’ll look at yourself and realize that honestly, you’re not any worse or better than any other human. Humans mostly do the best we can. You create the love for the self to fully express the soul’s desire, manifesting care, safety, and success in grounding yourself. You create a life full of healthy, sustainable channels to self-love you’ve been collecting all this time. It’s just time to take your power back.
