Taylor and Tommy have always participated in Halloween. I
loved to hand out candy and the kids usually went with their father to gather
far too many treats. It was a dad thing for them and it was good for them. I
loved the creativity of their decision-making for costume. Tommy was a
firefighter one year and Taylor, for some reason, maybe because it’s only been
less than a year…I just can’t think that far back. I do remember that as the
kids got older, they went with friends or in Tommy’s case didn’t go at all,
like a lot of growing kids. Taylor, though dressed up until her last Halloween when she was only 21. I wonder who she would have been this year.
I still have some of their costumes. Tommy was Woodstock and
Taylor was Snoopy. She loved 101 Dalmatians so it worked. Then, my mind jumps
to Tommy in a long cape and sword and Taylor as a cute Alice in Wonderland. I
feel like I was kind of set up on a soul level, especially with this movie. She
loved it. I have that costume and it was just her thing to dress up every year
even until last year, her last year. My last year with her and Tommy. She was
Pocahontas one time and told everyone the facts about the Disney movie. I
completed an excellent class in History that took us to Colonial Williamsburg
so Taylor knew all about Pocahontas and refused to watch the movie when I told
her. I loved that.
Taylor spent her Halloweens out. We had parties for
everything at our house, any excuse all through their childhoods and it was
always just kids and me and it was always uproariously funny with Taylor
laughing the loudest. But, for Halloween she went out. And, dressed up in cute
costumes…Taylor-style. She just never wanted to be the dirty teacher or dirty
anything. Her opinion was made known to these girls that they need to respect
themselves or they will lose respect of any man. Her choice and the way she saw
her own identity.
Taylor never came home drunk, either. We’re both terrible
drinkers and she didn’t like to feel out of control. She went to parties, some
weren’t the best locations or groups, but she left when she needed to. But, I
thought it was cool that she didn’t identify parties as places to lose your
mind. She noticed how people look at act. She wanted to stay alive driving. I
think she probably went for the food and picked up some food on the way to the
party and on the way home. It was her thing.
We did buy pumpkins and we have been to pumpkin patches. The
kids weren’t into Charlie Brown much but we did watch it when I could beg them
annoyingly enough. This year, someone bought a pumpkin for me because Taylor
loved Halloween. I brought out all her costumes I could find. I was amazed to
find that one of her boxes contained Tommy’s sword from so very long ago. She
also kept his name badge from his first job. She didn’t always say it, but she
was so sentimental.
Taylor was sensitive and loved scary movies. What? I didn’t
understand it and frankly, when I finally convinced her that the 80’s version
of Poltergeist was terrifying, she and a friend watched it in the basement with
the lights off. Not me, I don’t like scary movies. I could hear them laughing
all the way upstairs. I guess the cinematography was pretty outdated. Tomorrow
night I’ll be alone and silent on Halloween, not knowing which stockings go
with the shoes or how to help her with her hair or of course, shape her
eyebrows last minute. Halloween is Taylor’s favorite holiday. Tomorrow, I need
to do something to honor her, even if I feel like I’m drowning. I’ll dress up
and read books to kids. I’ll just love her and Tommy and all of the rest of my “kids.”
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